I made a cool thing and I got some DM’s about it. They were delish my dudes. So here’s what I did for my sister’s birthday. I hope you enjoy! tag me on IG @assholegentlman if you decide to try it out. I’ll probably make some more post about baking stuff since i tend to stress bake. so might as well lol.

Anyway enough rambling here it is.

 

Cupcake bread:

tbh I just bought a Betty Crocker yellow cake mix  and called it a day. I don’t have time for making bread by scratch since I am way too lazy. but if you’re the type here’s what you’ll need.

  • 2 cups of all purpose flour
  • 1.5 cups of white sugar
  • 1/2 cup of shortening
  • 1 cup of whole milk
  • 3.5 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3 eggs

Preheat oven at 350 F. Mix together the flour baking powder and salt. Then in a separate bowl mix your shortening and sugar until light and fluffy. add your eggs one at a time and combine throughly. Then add your flour mixture alternately with milk. then add your vanilla and combine thoroughly.

pour into your cupcake pans and it should make about 12.

bake your cakes at 350 F for 40 to 45 minutes or until your toothpick comes out clean.

LET THEM COOL BEFORE YOU ADD THE FROSTING OR IT WILL MELT RIGHT OFF MY DUDE.

 

B00zy Buttercream:

  • 1 cup of unsalted soften butter
  • 4 cups of powder sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
  • 4 tablespoons of spiced rum
  • 2 spoonfuls of dulce de leche.
  • pinch of salt

In a large mixing bowl you will add the butter, salt, cinnamon, and gradually sift the powder sugar as you mix. When you reach a nice creamy mixture you’ll add your preferred rum and dulce de leche. Continue mixing until you reach a nice frosty consistency. Your buttercream should be able to stay put on your spoon when you flip it upside down. If it’s too watery you have a minor issue but no worries! making buttercream is hard anyway, pat yourself in the back for trying!

To fix  runny buttercream:

You can either add more powder sugar to make it thicker or add corn starch. (sifted of course, you don’t want clumps)

I prefer to use corn starch as adding more powdered sugar tends to make the mixture a bit too sweet and it can be a bit too empalagoso to eat.

You decide. If you can taste the frosting a bit bitter from the rum use the powder sugar to balance it out. but if it just perfect add the cornstarch. You’ll get the thickness and wont lose the taste.

Dulce de leche Filling:

Now you can either scratch it, fake it or buy it so I’ll give you the choice.

Scratch It:

  • 4 cups of whole milk
  • 1  1/4 cups of sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla

Mix together everything in a deep saucepan and bring it to a boil. Then reduce heat and let it simmer. Stir occasionally until the mixture is thickened and caramelizes. transfer to bowl to cool. (makes 1.5 cups)

Fake It:

  • Sweetened condensed milk

Heat oven to 425 degrees farenheit.  In a 9 inch pie dish pour your condensed milk and cover it tightly with foil. Then we will place the dish in a water bath. On top of a roasting pan place the pie dish in the middle and add water until it reaches the top. ( of course don’t get water on the mixture). Bake for 45 minutes and add water onto the pan as it evaporates. Bake until its thick and brown. Remove the pie plate from the pan and allow to cool. (makes 1 1/4 cups)

Buy It:

  • Lechera Dulce de Leche

This is pretty straightforward. you’ll find many brands that have canned Dulce de Leche but you wont find anything as delicious as Lechera’s. It a gift from the gods. ( If you’re not familiar, You can find this in the latinx food aisle at your local store.)

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Chocolate cigarettes?

I also made chocolate cigarettes to put on top of this. which its your basic dark milk chocolate melted. I used giant boba straws to suck up the chocolate and let them cool in the freezer over night. The next morning i cut open the straws with a razor and cut my chocolate stix into 100’s sized cigarettes.

I was so bummed that my smoke shop stopped carrying those papers that look like cigarettes so I just bought regular papers and added a filter to resemble them.


Anyway you can decorate them however. I decided to make them trashy and classy cos I thought it was funny.